Amy Goodusky: Scholarly Survey Finds A Hungry Bunch Of Lawyers
I have had my struggles with research engines. Possibly, their valve-cover gaskets need adjusting. Perhaps it's the differential. In any event, my last foray into the medical arena of research yielded surprising results. The article came up in a search about nursing care. This was the title: "Facial lesions in piglets with intact or grinded teeth."
It was published in a Scandinavian medical journal. Well, you know, what happens in Sweden …
The appearance of this unexpected article caused me to fold down the cover of my laptop and reach for the chocolate. After several Hershey's Kisses, I entered a state of temporary bliss, and began daydreaming about … research.
I've had a wonderful life. As a result, I have a very short bucket list. One of the items on it, however, is to publish a scholarly article, like the Scandinavian interloper discussed above. One of the first provisos of any type of writing is to confine oneself to subjects or things with which one is familiar. It would not do, for instance, to write about, say, iguanas, as I know nothing about them.
Immediately, I thought of lawyers. This should not be construed as an association of attorneys with reptiles, notwithstanding James Baldwin's admonition that to pursue any profession or calling is to suffer an intimate knowledge of its ugly side. With this in mind, I decided to make a tentative foray toward my goal. I would conduct a survey! Here are the results.
Materials and Methods: Telephone; pen; laptop; chocolate; calculator.
Study population: Attorneys with whom the author is acquainted, most of whom practice in Connecticut. Age range between 29 and 67. Approximately 69 percent of the respondents were male, and the remainder female.
Controls: Results were controlled for age, practice sector, gender, and willingness to speak to the writer. Subjects were promised anonymity, and results were discounted if the respondents appeared to be answering the questions just to mollify the researcher.
Funding: None. I will have to work on this.
Results: Of the surveyed population, 76.2 percent of the respondents favored coffee as their beverage of choice; 19.4 percent opted for alcohol of some description, with a strong gender- and age-related preference for beer (97.1 percent male, 81.3 percent under 65). Meanwhile, 2.1 percent stated a preference for lighter fluid (n:1), but this respondent was having a particularly bad day.