Opinion: 'Yo, Yo, Yo, White Boy' And Other Courtroom Comedy
It's Thanksgiving week as I write this, and who wants to work? Better to pull some anecdotes from memory, and entertain.
"Mr. Pattis, are you all right?"
The judge looked concerned. She was sitting no more than six feet from me. I thought I was fine, actually. After all, I was cross-examining a witness, the thing I most enjoy about being a lawyer. The witness was warm butter to my knife.
I looked up.
"Are you all right?"
My hand was on my chest, beneath my suit jacket. She was assuming I was suffering chest pain.
"If I had a heart, a fact not in evidence," I said, "it would be on the left side of my chest. My hand is on the right side."
My adversary sniggered, but I could not tell whether she was amused by my wit, or disappointed that the gods weren't preparing to whisk me to the next world.
"You see judge, I am wearing suspenders today. I don't often do so. The strap keeps sliding off my shoulder."