Opinion: A Hip Attempt At Making Vacation Plans
Eventually, I decided that there was only one reasonable object of my anticipated harassment, rejection, arrest, arraignment, plea and sentencing. I encountered him near the elevator. I cleared my throat. My palms were sweaty.
"Hey, baby," I said.
I threw a hip out in front of me like a catalogue model.
He looked at me.
"Are you OK?" he asked.
"Uh, yeah. Why?"
"Did you actually say, 'Hey, baby?'"
"What was that about?"
"I need a vacation," I said.